What I Got


I've noticed recently, the viewer ticker jammer has increased rapidly on this blog. That gives me reason to believe that perhaps, since many of you are aware my mother recently passed, I have something to say. Or maybe it's just late night TV sucks so you fill the void with my ramblings. Either way, I do have something to say, and it's nothing.

Seriously, I got nothin. My life has changed dramatically in the past week, and I'm not really sure what advice I have to offer. This is totally cliche, but I think it's really important to not have any regrets. In a world where we are often run by what is considered "popular belief", it may be hard to not have any regrets, and to act as you see fit when you don't agree with the majority (half the time I don't think the majority agrees with itself and they are a bunch of bloody liars, anyway). So the hell with them. Real life example: I moved out of my parents' and had my own house with my best friend from highschool. Totally stellar right? You aren't supposed to move home after you move out, because that would mean you either can't handle it, can't afford it, or your roommate hates you. I know in my case, the first two aren't true, and I'm pretty comfortable saying the last one isn't, either. However, I decided to move home as a result of my mother's declining health, and I'm sure many didn't believe that was the case. Either way, not my problem. If I didn't move back, I don't know if I could live with myself. I have absolutely no regrets in regards to what I actually had control over. It is so important to march to the beat of your own drum, even if it appears shameful or embarrassing. Do what you need to do to get through the day without hating yourself for it later (for those living in BP, this does infact, exclude coke, just a little fyi).

I'm also realizing it's important to keep your family close. In the past, I've always blown off the idea of family, and that is such a huge mistake. Even if you aren't big on talking to your family, or they live far away, a phone call once a month won't kill you. Even if all they do is criticize you and your lawn mower or whatever the hell, just deal with them, because when you really need them, they will be there. People will always be people, but once in a while, they actually become human when you need them to.

The amount of love I've received from everyone around me, and even from those who haven't been around me recently, or never were really that close to me is so overwhelming. It has brought me to tears on several occassions (when I was alone, of course). I just wanted to take a minute to let everyone know how much I appreciate the messages, cards, phone calls, etc. It has meant so much to me. It has helped me find alot of things that I didn't even know were missing. It has also caused me to become human, which I never realized I wanted to do so badly.