Hardball


I have a bone to pick with my society (note the my, meaning I am a contributor). We do not show eachother, that we care about eachother, enough.

I think often, funerals are the purest form of caring one can give. Something unpleasant, tragic, etc. happened, and you are taking time out of your day to show up. America breeds control freaks, and at this point, there is nothing one can do to control what has happened. There is not anything anyone can say or do, only be there. And sometimes thats the hardest thing to do, because there is no fixing.

Considering my age, I feel I have a pretty lengthy resume of funerals I've attended. As painful as they have been, I can honestly say they have been some of the most heartwarming events of my life. People from your past and present just show up, with nothing to give you but their presence. There are not enough Movado watches, flowers, or amounts of money that could ever compare.

So here is where my problem lies: why are so many of us waiting for something awful to happen to present an opportunity to show up? Seriously, what the hell. If we know someone close to us is having a tough time with something, anything, a "hey I was thinking about you" phone call, e-mail, text, smoke signal can make that person's day. Or if that isn't your bag, send them a joke to make them laugh.

A common objection I receive to this idea is that if someone wanted to talk about a tough time they were having, they would just reach out to you. I'm not necessarily interested in this objection all the time. It's not always about someone else coming to you. Sometimes, you just have to let the person know you're there without asking. That's when it means something, when they don't ask, and you just show up once in a while.