For Better, or for Worse? And when did this have to become a question?

"Until death, or atleast until the next seven years are up, do us part". So German politician Gabriele Pauli is suggesting Germany pass a law that would null and void marriage agreements every 7 years, unless the couple wanted to renew, and it that case, they could. Hm, yeah, does anyone else consider this a little disenheartening, or am I the only asshole?

In one of my classes, we held a discussion about the institution of marriage. When the professor introuduced this German proposal, many in the class laughed. I didn't. I think this is ridiculous and I made that quite clear. The professor responded with, "Well our culture is hyper accelerated". So the fact that as human beings, we're changing so quickly that we cannot commit to anything, and above all things, this includes marriage? I don't think so.

Disclaimer: This is not about being a Republican and shoving the Bible in anyone's face. I don't care about that. This is also not an attack on anyone (or their parents) who have gottten divorced. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. But can't we be a little more optomistic? I think our pop-culture has run away with realism and turned it into cynicsm. I'm being cynical complaining about it. I understand our culture has changed in countless aspects post WWII, from which I feel the change has orginated. And I also understand that we do have to be realistic that because of these changes (i.e. women's role in society, the workplace, the definition of family becoming a little different/loose), the institution of marriage will coincide. And that's all fine and good, but I don't think that these changes should cause such an anticipation of divorce.

Once I expressed my distaste for such a train of thought, the alleged professor looked at me and said, "So let me guess, you're a Romantic, right?" In that you poor soul kind of way. Yeah well fuck that, I am a romantic and I'm tired of putting on a cynical front to fit in with our alleged society. Is it so bad to want to be with one person who you actually love and loves you back for your whole life? I'm not ready to do this tomorow and you don't have to be either, but what is so wrong with the idea?

Random Prose


I just had to keep breathing. Inhale, exhale, one way in and out the other. That’s how it always was with me. In moments of distress, I always relied on doing whatever I knew how to do best at the time. Mostly that was breathing. So that’s what I did, and I did it well, considering I’m here telling you all of this. Some days, regardless of the story, I think you just have to be proud that you’re there to simply tell it. And that is why, my friend, I’m here.

When looking back at your life, regardless of how old you may be, there is always that point that defines the “before” and the “after”. If you’re seven, it might be before and after you learned how to ride a bike. If you’re seventy, it may be before and after you got married, if you’re lucky enough to remember back that far in the first place. Either way, you always have certain memories, scents, music, people, clothing attached to that period of your life. No one will ever be able to take that away from you. I haven’t decided yet if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but either way, what I had was mine and I was going to have to learn how to live with it, even though it appeared as though I had been doing that all along. But I digress.
It was sophomore year at Rosebury High. I guess in retrospect, sophomore year is probably the most uneventful year of any high schooler’s life. It’s not freshman year, so you don’t really have to worry about getting your ass kicked anymore unless you’re a real tool, your friends are already established, you don’t have to worry about college just yet, and to top it all off, you don’t even get to go to the prom until next year. Now that I think about it, maybe such a seemingly blah year was more carefree and relaxing than uneventful. Such a pity I didn’t see it like that at the time.

Biology was so weak. It’s 9 a.m. and I’m supposed to cut a pig apart. We aren’t allowed to drink coffee because the alleged faculty and staff feel the caffeine will make us too rambunctious to handle, kind of like the way mad cow disease would affect livestock. So in order to fight the machine, I smuggled black iced coffee into school in a Pepsi bottle. Now, there’s caffeine in Pepsi, just as much if not more than in coffee, but we can drink that. I heard a rumor yesterday that Paris Hilton was coming to the school to do some kind of motivational speech. Did I raise an eyebrow? Nah.

Coffee was the only colored drink I allowed myself to consume. I dated this guy who would only drink clear liquid and he had the whitest teeth I had ever seen. We broke up, it was kind of mutual, but for some reason I still had a bad taste in my mouth. To seek vengeance, I was determined to get my teeth to be whiter than his; I know, I’m a real hard-ass. I used those rancid tasting whitening strips, and aside from coffee, only drank clear liquids. I could have given up coffee, and I can be one of those conniving wenches that gets her jollys from revenge, but you have to draw the line somewhere, and I wasn’t giving up coffee. His smile wasn’t even that nice, but the white from the teeth was brilliant, blinding, and just blatantly irritating. Mine just had to be better.

On Location


You know that show Myth Busters? Yeah, it’s cool. Proving you can’t do random shit with a hot air balloon or whatever the hell. It’s never really anything useful that they’re busting, but maybe that’s precisely the point; you get away from the things that matter. That’s perfectly fine sometimes, but in some cases, you can’t do that and you need your daily dose of real life. That’s why once in a while, they should crack some myth that would prove to be a little more productive in regards to our daily life. I have even thought about proposing their first real life myth! It is as follows: You can run away from your problems by moving to a different location.

Now for all the wise ones, I realize, this is applicable in cases in which you’re about to be struck by a vehicle. But I’m talking about more introverted issues; insecurities, people “in your horrible town”, finding nothing that satisfies you. The latter could perhaps be my favorite one. I know of many in my town who despise the place because there isn’t ever anything to do and the center of life is Dunkin Donuts. I am semi-guilty of that as well. However, the town is what you bloody make of it. Fun doesn’t always (or almost ever) find you; you have to look for it. I’ve had plenty of enjoyable Friday nights tooling around at a playground or just walking around the town. But that’s because I finally pulled the stick out of my ass and looked for satisfaction. Perhaps you should do the same.

Okay, so let’s say you have fallen into the category of those who have looked for fun and have exhausted the town’s charm. Fair enough, A for effort. Now, you want to move away and think that everything will come up roses when you get to your new location. You poor soul. There is work involved in all this, and yeah, it’s scary. I always think before I go somewhere new that it’s going to be totally different than anywhere I’ve ever been. But I’m always shocked because I’m wrong (imagine). Everywhere, people have the same problems. When recently visiting a new city, I saw a newspaper article about why so many qualified people don’t find jobs. Sound familiar? I walk the streets and I hear people on their cell phones, freaking out about relationships and money and getting home in time to take the dog out. There are still homeless people, there is still racism, there are still happy couples, and thank God there is still a Starbucks within 5 minutes. Maybe I’m the insane one to let this kind of thing blow my mind every time, but it’s true. I guess the most prominent shocker is that, one day (soon), I’m going to be moving somewhere else, and it’s going to take work and efforts that I’ve never had to put forth, and even then there is no guarantee. The line between old and new problems becomes very blurry. I think the word “problems” is also quite shitty in this situation. These things aren’t horrible, they are life. You can’t escape problems, but they also don’t have to become your life. I’m fearful of sounding cliché, but places, and life, are so totally what you make of them.

Oh and p.s. – everyone can remind me of this blog the next time I bitch about Albany ☺

The Peanut Butter and Jelly Conversations


I never had peanut butter and jelly until I was 12. I fully did not know what I was missing for those 12 horrendous (okay, I'm being a bit dramatic) years! So simple, but yet so good. And to think of all the different variations; smooth, crunchy, grape jelly, strawberry; the world of peanuts and fruit at your fingertips.

I have a serious appreciation for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's not complicated, and you can always rely on it to be good. There are no secrets, no games. Sure, a steak once in a while is fine, but you're always wondering if that one had mad cow disease or if it is cooked just right; it gets a bit more tricky. Peanut butter and jelly presents a sense of normalicy. When you were a kid (or in my case, almost a freaking teenager) you may have moped when you knew mom was "just" making you pb & j for lunch. But when you become an adult (whatever the hell that means), and things become a little more complex, the sense of normality and also, even if it is just a sandwich, something can still be the same is so refreshing. And no, I"m not doing a commercial for Jiff, there is a point to this.

There are many different kinds of conversations you can have in a day, in a life. These types of conversations can include (but are not limited to, of course) what I like to call the Steak Conversations and the Peanut Butter and Jelly Conversations. The Steak Talks are heavier life talks that require alot of work and are sometimes a gamble because they involve really putting yourself out there; they often help you get through life. With these talks, since you may be taking such a risk, you're also hoping the other party involved doesn't have mad cow; I'm just sayin. The Peanut Butter and Jelly talks help you get through the day. They're lighter, more fun, and you can talk about anything without it being a big deal. Comparing a math problem to an English paper or about how hott Zac Efron is even if he is 14, these conversations can sometimes be what you need to get through the day with a smile on your face. If you can sit on the floor of your living room, eat some kind of pb&j, and have these talks, with notihing else, just yourself, that's a good day.

Life's Menu


I went out to dinner the other night. The restaurant offered different kinds of seasoning on their entrees. Some were seasoned with pepper, and some with garlic. Others with some leaf-like substance, and others with spice. I watched a man at the table across from me decline the meal with pepper, as he was allergic. I ordered chicken seasoned with garlic, because I love garlic. So what the hell is the point?

We have four seasons in our year. We move because we like some seasons better than others (why can't there be a place that is autumn year round?). I don't know about you, but I always get just a little freaked out when the season changes from autumn to winter. You have to scramble to find boots and your stylish fur coat that hopefully still fits from last year. And not to mention, winter is just plain different than autumn. It's kind of like unchartered territory. Now could anyone imagine that being scary? Nah.

I'm watching my friends fall in and out of love, moving, thinking about moving, and I'm taking it all in, and thinking about love and moving. I'm trying to sort out the love thing, and I'm dealing with my uncharted, unmapped life. And it's all about changing seasons. You're suddenly single, it's suddenly chilly, you wake up and you're in love, and you wake up and can go back to sleep because it's a snow day. I think just as long as it's not Suddenly Susan on your TV, we're in good shape. Some do better with different seasons, some can't handle some (i.e. the afore mentioned man with pepper). And I think that is all okay. Are we really programmed to deal with all seasons of life? Aren't we allowed to choke a little if the pepper is just a little to spicy? And sometimes, some seasonings are an acquired taste. I think the key, really, is not being afraid to order something new off the menu.