My Letter to Santa Claus

Dear Mr. Claus-

My name is Andrea, I'm from upstate New York, and although I don't necessarily think I've been naughty this year, I would not categorize my behavior as nice. That is not the point of this letter. I actually have a bone to pick with you. It has occured to me, (and hopefully everyone else that is reading this) that you are not real. This has struck me in quite a curious way, and I felt the need to hash it out in writing.

Now, if we want to be specific, I have known you do not exist for quite some time. When I was seven, I asked my brother if he believed in you. My brother could be the worst liar I've ever met, and while his intentions were good, he screwed that one up. (Don't worry Chris, I'm over it). However, at seven years old I tried my best to ignore my brother's poor attempts at lying, and continued to believe. As I grew older, I realized my parents were also bad liars, as the gift tag had the same distinctive hand writing that my mother had. But whatever, I can handle that too.

Here's my issue: Your alleged purpose is to bring good cheer to families, however, you are not real. So what the devil do you think you're doing, or not doing, for that matter? As people get older, they tend to stop getting as excited about Christmas, and it's about the younger, little ones, as they still believe. But I think that Christmas time is a season everyone should take advantage of, to believe in the spirit of you, and to experience good cheer. So that's what I'm asking for this year, for people to just enjoy themselves and those around them.

Sincerly-
Andrea

PS - if the whole good cheer for mankind thing doesn't work out, I'd also enjoy a Nintendo Wii, just sayin.

Q & A

Do you feel unfulfilled? Are you always striving for more, and never reaching your goal (ha, you probably work for Allstate)? Do you sometimes feel less than your best, or worse yet, worthless? Do you move around, hoping to find something, anything? If you've even come close to a yes, great, maybe I can help!
Disclaimer: I offer no guarentees, so please don't slap me with a lawsuit saying my blog ruined your life.

Personally, I blame customer service hotlines. We have all these stupid hotlines available 24/7, regardless of holidays or nuclear attacks. These hotlines offer us the illusion that we can actually get an answer to some burning question we have about a new toaster, or insurance, or whatever the hell life comes at you with, all the time. We get so angry when the rep can't answer our question, I mean, it's a hotline for Christ's sake, they're supposed to have the answer. Now, we realize (rationally) that these people are allegedly trained to have answers, however, we are subconsciously conditioned to think that whenever we have an unsolved mystery, there will be a hotline to call or some creepy tv show as a medium to present and hopefully solve our problem with.

Review the title of this post. Questions and answers are always paired together, and assuming they go together is such a gamble. You can ask all the questions you want, but that doesn't mean there is going to be a Life Representative on the other end of the phone dealing out answers like cards in a poker game. I am such a mechanical person when it comes to all this, I see a question, I find an answer, something is broken, I fix it, something's lost, I find it. In the last few months, I think my heart broke, and I lost part of myself, and I'm at a loss of answers. Admitting all this isn't my style, but that's the only way to make it real and managable. Floundering for answers that are impossible to reach is no way to live life.

Even if we did get all the answers, the forbidden knowledge, what would we do? Take Marlowe's piece, Faustus, which is my favorite piece of literature of all time. Faustus obtained forbidden knowledge at the price of his soul, and after he had all this knowledge, he had nothing left to strive for. Instead, he used this supposed gift for petty bullshit. Maybe knowing all the answers isn't what life is all about. It seems like having faith, faith in general, faith in yourself, and in the betterment and satisfaction of your life is what is important. Somedays, I think we have to ignore the "how", and in the middle of the night, when you're restless, worry not, because at some point, it will be okay. If we don't believe that, then what else do we have?

So I'll Tell you What I Want, What I Really, Really Want....


Okay so what inspried this post is stupid but the post itself isn't (atleast I think so). One of my favorite movies is Center Stage. If you haven't seen it, it's a movie about ballet and love and blah blah. The main character has, of course, all odds against her in the world of ballet (bad feet, poor technique..), and she is having relationship issues. But instead of quitting ballet and applying at the local Hooters and whoring herself out to everyone and everything, while she isn't fierce and impulsive, she strives to get what she wants, and at the end of the movie, she is actually happy.

I realize this is a movie, and am also well aware life is not a movie. This seems to be a common trend I notice among people, however; either fighting fiercly for what you want, or completely giving up. I see people move away, out to prove their dreams (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with this), but often they're so aggressive, when things don't pan out the way they want, they want to give up. I've seen people go balls to the wall with their education and burn out, only wanting to give up (I've started filling out the paperwork to drop out of college 3 times this semester). We're either on Special K or Super Sizing, driving 10 miles over or under the speed limit, and not just doing 55.

I know in alot of my posts I seem to denounce society and all of our habits. I really don't think we are all that bad (yet). I just like making suggestions. Anyway, it occured to me why I liked this movie so much; I am dying to be like the main character. Not only is she like, an amazing ballerina, but she is always striving for betterment and satisfaction, and she isn't irrational. Somehow (other than the fact that this is all scripted) she is always very controlled, and most importantly, she isn't afraid of what she wants or what she has to do to get it. I just really admire that in a person (that isn't scripted). Like think about all those things that you would love to do but for whatever reason you don't. Taking the time to actually do some of these things will remind you that you still have control over your life and your satifisfaction, and it will propel you to strive to be happier. Not only that, but this happiness may bleed into other aspects of your life, as well :)